Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Jan 31, 2012 The Funnies

Remember February 14th is International Dear John Your Missionary day

The Daily Funnies
One of my favorite things to do every morning was to grab the newspaper and open up to the comics. This time honored tradition, sacred to many, was an essential part of my every day. My favorite comic was Pearls Before Swine. So I thought today I would write about some of the funny experiences that I have been having recently. I am thinking about doing one of these every other month or so, but first I want to clear up some confusion:

A lot of people have been writing me confused about why I am in the Ogden mission, how long I will be here, and why Elvis is thought to be alive. I am here waiting for my Visa, I have no idea how long I will be here (I have been told that I will probably know I am leaving the day before I leave) but plenty of people have waited such varied times to make me reluctant to estimate my departure date. Suffice it to say, I am on my mission and am where the Lord wants me to be now. Oh, and I have no idea about Elvis.

Now to the Funnies . . .

BABY BLUES - We were visiting a member house, encouraging them to think more about missionary work and the daughter was holding a baby. The baby was really quiet. Its head was shiny and had a plastic look. At the end of the lesson I assumed that the girl was in one of those Adult Roles classes, and that the baby was fake. So I asked her if the baby was for a class. She looked at me kind of funny and in that instant I realized my mistake. The baby was her two month year old, very bald, baby brother. A very real baby not for any class.

FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE - Another member visit a lady opened the door and smiled widely, "We met this Sunday!" she enthusiastically exclaimed, "Remember me?" Honestly I didn't. We meet so many people every day I am surprised I remember any names. Luckily I had help from above. More specifically, above her head. She had helpfully put one of those decorative name plates on her door with her family name. So I paused for a moment and then said, "Oh yeah, your sister ----!" She was very excited about me remembering her name.

BIZARRO - I am ALWAYS losing stuff. I remember one time spending 10 minutes searching for a paper. I searched through all of my pockets at least three times. No luck. The next day I found the paper in one of the pockets. Now whenever I lose something, my companion jokes, "Is it in one of your pockets?"

DENNIS THE MENACE - We called who we thought was the ward mission leader several times and were a bit frustrated honestly, because every time we asked him if there was something we could do for him, he said no. This last week he told us, "Oh, you guys know that I am not the ward mission leader any more right?" Why else did he think we were calling him every week?
And Finally,

PEARLS BEFORE SWINE - We do a lot of walking in this area. I think it is actually to our advantage not to have a car because we meet a lot of people this way. Last Saturday we were walking past this house when we saw a middle aged gentleman installing some wires on his house. We asked him if there was anything we could do for him and he said "No thanks," and that he was just "Finally getting around to installing internet to his house," because "You can't do anything without it these days." We started chatting and he told us in a frustrated voice how everything is run by computers these days, "You can turn everything on with computers these days, and so can they." They? I was very confused about who they was until he explained more. Somehow I had contacted into another one of my beloved friends - The Alien Believers. Don't forget to duck your head when you walk outside today, UFO's are everywhere!

Thanks for reading my letters! I decided to start including quotes at the end of my letters, I hope you enjoy them!

"I think we need to remind ourselves that during this earth time, during the time that we are living right now, we are just as much in the eternity as we will be after we die."  - Fred Blaser: Funeral of Ernest Blaser

Elder Ball

Elder Taylor Ball
4380 S. Orchard Ave.
South Ogden, UT 84403

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